We believe in safety in Rolla, so take the hookah outside

[ozarksboy]

We have a smoking ban in Rolla. You cannot smoke in any building where people are paid to work. That includes bars where people are drinking whiskey, gin and vodka. They may get cirrhosis of the liver and they may kill a family or cause a clostly non-injury accident, but they won't get (or give) cancer from second-hand smoke. We want people to be safe in Rolla.
Recently, though, some folks not originally from Rolla, Missouri or the United States wanted to open something called a hookah lounge or hookah bar. This would give people the opportunity to sit around smoke flavored tobacco from big water pipes. They could also eat sandwiches if they got the munchies.
The city council on March 18 that the hookah bar/lounge would have to be outside, for the council discussed it and then decided not to take the opportunity to amend the workplace smoke ban ordinance.
The law remains that in Rolla, you can’t smoke anyplace there’s a paid employee in the building. You can smoke at the Lions Club Den where all the workers on bingo nights are volunteers. When a catering company shows up, though, you’re supposed to put out your cigarettes and cigars and extinguish your pipes. When the paid workers leave, you can light up again and blow as much smoke as you want at the Lions volunteers.
At least for now, there’ll be no waiver granted to bars after 9 p.m., no allowances for businesses that sell tobacco products, no nod to cultures or age groups that want to sit around and smoke flavored tobacco through water pipes.
You just can’t smoke in a building where there’s a paid worker.
To commemorate the occasion, I have written a poem:

SEVEN HOOKAH LINES THAT ARE STINKERS
The Rolla City Council said no to the hookah
to keep people’s lungs clear of the tar and the gookah.
So chew bubble gum instead. Try some Bazooka.
Or write a letter up North to a friendly Nanookah.
Or drink a beer and listen to a tune on a jookah
box. Or flirt with a woman who seems a good lookah.
You think you have rights? The city don’t give a fookah.

Yes, yes, I know it should be “city doesn’t” but the line meter fits better with “city don’t” so I’m using the poetic license I carry in my wallet.
Also, “fookah” is not a naughty word. It is a word I just made up, and because I made it up, I have the right to define it. It means “hoot or flip.” It doesn’t mean what you think it means.

[Frank_Cox]

As always you make me ROFL hahaha
I love out town haha

[Gizmo]

Nice read!

Your write up here reminds me of a big sports complex we used to have in our state capitol - paid for by cigarette taxes - that you couldn't smoke in....

[DUAYNE B]

Thats pretty funny, what an ordinance

[SoloQue]

You get caught smoking in a building down here you better plan on bringing a church bulletin with ya when you appear in court. For the judge says ... "you shall repent sinner!" ...."That'll be $50, you can put it in the offering plate as you exit"

I don't smoke anymore but it bugs the crap out of me that I have less and less to say about my own personal choices these days.

Disclaimer: This has not been a political or religious statement, I am simply suffering from smoke inhalation since it is raining outside and I have a brisket going in the garage in which case I have a temporary medical condition.

[Gizmo]

Solo I've always known you had a condition but "temporary medical" wasn't exactly what I was thinking ...

I crack myself up!

[TuscaloosaQ]

SoloQue you crack me up bro!!!!!1

[Tommy Joe]

Just remenber guys the boy in the state capitals and Washington know what is best for you. Just do what the guys who make the laws figger out what is best for you Now that is a BS statement if I ever heard one!

[Frank_Cox]

hahaha